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Connecting with an Audience – A Shift in Perspective

August 30, 2010 By admin 2 Comments

It’s always surprising to me how many outgoing extroverted people clam up when they have to deliver a speech. It’s as if once they step on the platform, the microphone sucks out all of their charisma and energy. Next thing you know, you have a boring monotone shell of a speaker in front of you.

What happens in the minds of these otherwise peppy individuals that turns them into boring speakers?

There is a shift in their focus. An charismatic person is usually a great conversationalist because they are ultimately focused on making a connection with the other individual. Their focus is on making the other person interested and engaged. For some reason, when these people have to give a speech, their focus shifts to a much more unproductive area. They, instead, focus on the speech. The next slide. The next point. Where to put their hands. The handout. Their notes. They completely cut out the cornerstone of a great speech: connecting with the audience. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Blog, featured, Public Speaking

What Twitter Teaches Us About Communication

August 23, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

Like many of you, I have dived into the dicey waters of Twitter. How can this thing drive business? How can I avoid this taking over my life? Does anyone pay attention to this thing anyway?

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Business Communications

Avoiding a Culture of Complaints

August 18, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

Complaints happen. It’s a fact of life. One of your team members feels snubbed by something you said in the last meeting and so he complains to his coworkers to vent his frustrations. Someone doesn’t feel appreciated and they spend the day hopping from cubicle to cubicle making sure everyone knows they should be appreciated. Or, there is a building tension amongst your group and the culture of complaints seems to be spreading a viral YouTube video.

If you notice that your office is on the verge of collapse from complaints, keep reading.

People often latch on to a subject and continue to complain about it until they feel 1) they have been heard and/or 2) there is something being done to fix it. It depends on the person and the situation if they need both outcomes or just one. However, each outcome has to be to their satisfaction. Meaning: they decide when they feel heard and they decide if the “next action step” is suitable.

How do you lead a conversation that allows them to feel heard? And how can you tell when they reach an agreeable state of mind?

First step: Leading the conversation

The problem with most conversations (especially in the office) is that everyone walks in with assumptions and statements. They assume what the other person is thinking and feeling. They assume what the right course of action is. And they assume that they are in the right. You know what they say when you assume… (Sorry, couldn’t help myself.)

Locked and loaded with their assumptions, leaders will them fire away with statements. They lay out their perceptions, how things should be, and how to get things back on track. This is not how you exterminate complaints. In fact, having this kind of a meeting is what creates fertile ground for more complaints to fester in the office. If you’re doing all the talking, you’re getting no where.

Instead, you need to open up with questions. Then listen. This means, no interruptions, and no shoving your opinion in the mix. Remember, the complaints have persisted because they don’t feel heard. This is your chance to allow them to vent out all the toxins. If you interrupt that process, you are starting all over again.

Once you ask your questions and have listened, you then summarize what you have heard. Feel free to use the classic phrase, “What I heard you say was….” Ask, listen, and repeat. This can take sometime. It depends on the person and the situation as to how many rounds you need to go through. It is well worth the time spent on this process, otherwise, you’ll be spending more time and energy if you allow the complaining to continue. Continue the process of ask, listen, and repeat until you see signs that the other person has shared all they needed and feel that you have a grasp of the situation and their feelings.

Second step: See the signs of agreeableness

Here are a few signs that you can spot that tell you the other person has reached a calmer state. In other words, they feel they have been heard.

They stop talking: After practicing the listen and repeat method, if they have nothing else to add, they simply stop talking. This is the most easy and straight forward sign.
Relaxation: A distinctive relaxation, particularly in the shoulders, signifies they have vented all they needed.
Breath: When they’ve talked themselves into submission, you will see them return to normal breathing patterns. You might even see something as obvious as a sigh of relief.
Sitting back: While in complaint-mode, they probably have been leaning forward and/or sitting at the edge of their chair. Once they feel they have been heard, they will sit back in a more comfortable posture.
Nodding: It’s always a good sign when you get their head to nod in agreement. This means they are open to moving on to the third step.

Third step: Agree on next action steps.

Go through the ask, listen, and repeat method to reach an agreement on next action plans. Start out with, “What would you like to see happen?” “What specific steps do you think need to be taken?” Just as before, don’t start spouting out your statements of what you think needs to happen and what you think has to be done. Allow them to communicate their needs to you and jointly reach a decision. Since the next action steps will be, in essence, their idea, they will have more buy in. Which means, if the next action steps don’t work out 100%, it’s not your fault and the responsibility isn’t solely on your shoulders.

When you go through these steps, you will be able to avoid creating a culture of complaints in your office.

Filed Under: Blog, Business Communications

What Every Presentation Needs: Wrapping Paper!

August 2, 2010 By admin 1 Comment

An observation in style vs. substance in presentations.

It’s your birthday. Your friends have decided to throw you a surprise party. You come home from work and inside your living room are your family and friends yelling, “SURPRISE!” You have a great time hanging out, having a few drinks, and talking with everyone. After you blow out the candles, it’s time for presents.

You see an array of small and big boxes wrapped in colorful wrapping paper. You spot a few distinct well branded gifts that have obviously come from high-end retail stores. Then you notice a surprisingly odd looking gift. At the corner of the table is a crumbled and creased brown paper bag amongst the small mountain of glittered bows and shiny wrapping. You’re not even sure if the paper bag is a gift or if someone didn’t know where to put the trash.

Which gift do you want to open most? The one that’s beautifully wrapped or the one that looks like an afterthought? Which one sparks your interest? Which one is more intriguing? And more importantly, which one makes you feel special and cared for?

Style vs substance.

Many people believe that if their message is strong enough, then it compensates for any lack of style or polish in their presentation. This is not true. Without style, your message loses strength. It isn’t as intriguing (shiny) to the audience. They aren’t as engaged because they are distracted by disjointed thoughts, awkward body language, verbal stumbles, and off topic tangents. In other words, the message is hidden in a crumbled up paper bag. No matter how important the message is inside the brown paper bag, it will never seem as special as the one in the beautiful, shiny, colorful wrapping paper.

I can hear the passionate objections now. Yes, I’m sure some of you are turning red thinking about the last speaker you saw with all style and no substance. You went to a meeting expecting good, actionable insights and all you got was a weak razzle-dazzle song and dance. Can style over compensate for substance?

Sadly, yes it can. With that said, can style completely overcompensate for substance, no it can’t.

When someone prepares a presentation so well that there is an element of finesse to it, then the audience is more forgiving than if the presentation is full of substance and poorly. The audience will than begin to squirm in their seat waiting for the presentation to be over. They will watch the clock out of boredom and, more than likely, completely check out.

As you can see – and as you have experienced for yourself – with poor delivery and lack of style, the substance is overlooked since the audience’s attention is distracted and disengaged. If your substance is shoved in a brown paper bag, then it might get overlooked entirely.

Filed Under: Blog, Public Speaking

Sharí’s Article Featured on Top Management Web Site

February 9, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

Click here to read Sharí’s article “Networking and Selling Using Body Language Secrets” at ManageSmart.com!

Filed Under: Blog, Public Speaking

Presentation Mistakes: The Show Must Go On!

February 1, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

Ooops!

I’ve done it. You’ve done it. We’ve all seen it done. You’re giving a presentation and something goes wrong. The papers are out of order. The slide has the wrong font. The projector shuts off. You trip on an electrical chord. The list can go on and on. But the show must go on!

No matter how many times you may run into it, it is always a mortifying experience when something goes wrong in your presentation. You’ve worked hard on preparing and you want the presentation to be perfect. But when it comes to presentations, there is no such thing as perfection! If you are like me and you strive for the perfect presentation, release yourself from that burden right now. Something won’t go right. It’s the nature of the beast. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Public Speaking

Powerful Networking

January 18, 2010 By admin 1 Comment

Not too long ago I wrote about how to find the most important person in the room by reading specific body language cues. (By the way, thank you to all the magazines and other blogs that picked up this story!)

Recently, a colleague on LinkedIn asked how do you present yourself as the most important person the room?

Great question!

While the body language cues I discussed in the first article came primarily from how people react around you, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t a few things you can do to bring the “air of power” back to you. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Body Language, Business Communications, Communication Observations, Influential Communications, Leadership Communications

Speaking with an Edge

January 13, 2010 By admin 1 Comment

Every speaker seeks to make a difference in the lives of their listeners. Even if only one person gets an a-ha moment, it is well worth it. As a speech coach, my clients often ask me if there is some key or technique that can help increase the a-ha moments in their speech. They mistakenly think that if they add one more step in their 5-step process the audience will get it. Or if they create a crafty acronym, that will make a difference. Or if they sing a song or add a poem, the audience will feel a stronger connection to their message. While each of these can be helpful in a speech for other reasons, they are not the key to creating a meaningful connection between an audience member and the message. In order to accomplish that, the speaker needs to dig a bit deeper.

A strong bond is formed along ragged edges

Recently I attended a seminar at the National Speakers Association. Our speaker was Francis Bologna. While his program focused on finances for small businesses, he had amazing insights on life, relationships, and people. One pearl of wisdom that stuck with me when he said, “As people, we don’t really bond together along the smooth edges. Where we truly bong is at the ragged edges.” In other words, what we typically present to the world are our smooth edges. We smile regularly. When asked how we are, we instinctively say “fine”. We keep a pleasant demeanor about us at all times. This is how we make acquaintances and fair-weather relationships. But when we show our ragged edges, that’s when we find true and meaningful relationships with others. The ragged edges are the struggles of looking for a job. The pain of being overweight. The worry for a delinquent child. The fear of not reaching our dreams.

When we share our ragged edges, we connect with others and their ragged edges. We all have pain, worry, frustration, disappointment, and fear. When we hide that part of our being, we cannot make meaningful connections with others. When we hide our own personal truth, all we are doing is polishing up our edges, smoothing them out so that we can slip by others and go unnoticed.

As speakers, our success relies on the ragged edges. We hold the privilege of the platform in order to connect with people. If you only present your smooth edges, you will slip by and forever be forgotten. However, if your goal is to make a lasting change in the lives of your audience members, you must be comfortable with shedding your pride, your ego, and your embarrassment. It is only when you reveal your humanness – your ragged edges – that your audience can then look inside themselves, acknowledge their own ragged edges and feel as though they are not alone. That is when a bond is truly formed.

Think of a puzzle. If the pieces are smooth with no bumps or gaps, when you lay the pieces next to each other, the slightest shift will adjust the pieces and they are no longer aligned. They are easily pulled apart. But if the pieces have spaces and ridges, then they snap in place and they hold on tight to one another, A much greater force is needed to break the bond between them. The same goes for you and your message.

When your speech reveals the spaces, the ridges, the gaps, and the bumps, then that piece of your message finds its way into the heart of someone who has the same ragged piece. They will forever remember that message, remember that lesson, and remember that moment. Nothing can take away that bond between your message and their heart.

The next time you give your speech, don’t be afraid to reveal the ragged edges. Know that what you are afraid of will be the very thing that makes a lasting difference in the life of someone else. If you truly desire to connect, bond, and make a positive change for someone else, share your ragged edges.

Filed Under: Leadership Communications, Motivational Speaking, Public Speaking, Storytelling

How to Pump Yourself Up Before a Presentation During a Slump

November 11, 2009 By admin Leave a Comment

The day will come when you have to give a great presentation and you’re not feelin’ your mojo. In this podcast I cover 5 tricks I use to bring up my energy and feel my best before getting on the platform.

Filed Under: Motivational Speaking, Political Communications, Public Speaking

How Poor Communications Is Costly to Your Business

November 9, 2009 By admin 1 Comment

Poor Communication Skills Cost Businesses

Poor Communication Skills Costly to Businesses

I often talk about the importance of effective communication and presentation skills. I usually focus on what the benefits are for your business. Today I realized that perhaps some companies aren’t aware of the cost of poor communication skills. I believe that this must be the case – a general unawareness – because businesses are not focusing enough (or any) of their development efforts in this area.

Today, allow me to make it very clear how your business suffers because of underdeveloped employees and poor communication skills.

Lost Business: When things go wrong, how your team handles the situation will determine whether or not your client will stay with you. In our “flat world”, you are replaceable. If your employees don’t handle a crisis situation with strong and effective interpersonal communications, all your client has to do is hop onto Google and contact your competitor.

No Business Growth: Without good interpersonal communication skills, networking efforts are futile. New connections will not be made. Discussions with the decision maker will never happen. Phone calls will not be returned. You may have a good product or service, but if it is not presented well, it won’t get bought.

No Advocates: If your people can’t clearly communicate what your business does and how it can help, how can you expect outside people to turn around and tell their friends, family, coworkers, and others? It won’t happen. The message needs to be clear, concise, and presented effectively. With a strong message, outsiders will be able to spread the word and drive more business to you. Without it, you’re on your own – literally.

Personnel Issues: 80% of office complaints are a result of communication misunderstandings. Think of the time and money that could be saved without the distraction of inter-office communication problems. Plus, people who are happier in their work environment are more productive. With communication training and development, you will not only save money, but also increase revenues.

Underdeveloped People = Underdeveloped Business: Training and developing your people to become highly effective communicators is one of the best investments for your business. How we communicate with the rest of the world directly determines the outcome. Strong communications equal strong relationships, which result in a strong business.

These are only a few of the costs you will be incurring if you allow poor communication skills to fester in your organization. Communications training and professional development are a critical element to the future and continued success of your business. Without improving this crucial area and allowing the communication skills of your employees to stay stagnant, you are choosing to let your business lag behind.

Find resources and training programs that will help you develop your employees, and therefore increase your business success.