Recently a client mentioned that I can be intimidating. Since I’m a petite woman who is only 5 feet tall, I’m sure you can understand why I was baffled at being called intimidating. I must admit, it bugged me for a few days.
I was thinking about this “intimidation factor” during one of my daily walks in the park. By watching the interaction between other walkers, I realized the difference between being intimidating and being intimidated.
The walkers in the park stay on the right side of the path and leave room for the runners on the left side. However, on occasion one walker needs to pass another and usually one of three things happens. The walker being passed will either keep their current pace, slow down, or increase their speed and make it difficult for the other walker to pass. (I’m the latter type of walker. I always think to myself, “If this guy thinks he’s going to pass me, I’m going to make him work for it.”) When I pass other walkers, I mostly notice people staying steady or slowing down.
It is almost as if most of the walkers allow themselves to be intimidated by the quicker walker. What does the faster walker do to intimidate? Nothing. They simply walk faster and some walkers feel intimidated and slow down.
Then it hit me: some people allow themselves to be intimidated. Just as many of the walkers in the park are intimidated by the people who pass them, the same is true for many speakers who compare themselves to other speakers.
Some people watch a professional speaker and think to themselves, “I’ll never be as good as them. They have a natural talent I just don’t have. I guess I’ll have to be content with my level.” They stick with their current “pace”. Or worse, they think, “Wow, they’re amazing. There’s no way I’ll ever come close to being like them. I’m not even going to try. This public speaking thing isn’t for me.” They “slow down”.
What did the professional speaker do to intimidate these people? Nothing. They allowed themselves to be intimidated.
However, there are a very strong, committed group of people who see an impressive professional speaker and think, “Now that I know what a great speech and a great speaker looks like, I have a clear goal to acheive. I know what to work towards.” They “speed up” and don’t allow themselves to be intimidated.
So the next time you feel a small twinge of intimidation approaching after watching an impressive speaker, compose yourself and simply realize you now have a clear goal to reach in your next speeches.
Intimidation is in the eye of the beholder.
